Nerd is my Gender

Things I’m Expected To Do for Cis People in Return for Their Not Hating Me: An Angry List


After seeing bidyke’s remix of sanctimonioussilentagony’s list, I thought I’d sketch out the beginnings of one for transsexual folk. Improvements welcome:

  • Answer any and all questions about my body and my medical treatment no matter how invasive
  • Answer questions about my partner’s sexuality
  • Listen to their stories about other trans* people they know
  • Listen to them talk and give them my opinions on trans* celebrities
  • Celebrate with them all fictional depictions of trans* folk, no matter how misrepresentative or outright transphobic
  • Congratulate them on their correct use of names and pronouns
  • Obey when they refer to me incorrectly and tell me that I “must forgive them”
  • Smile sadly and thank them when they tell me how brave I am
  • Use the accessible toilet and be grateful
  • Stay silent if they misidentify me as gay and cis
  • Sympathise with their excuses for their and others’ transphobia
  • Approve their use of the word ‘tranny’
  • Act ‘gendered’ enough but not too ‘gendered’
    • note: these prohibitions overlap with no middle ground
  • Never, ever, express or articulate any kind of sexuality
    • this one may be trans*-woman-specific?
  • Stay quiet when cis-specific issues are being discussed
  • Never raise trans*-specific issues
  • Never get angry or upset about cissexism and transphobia
  • Never call out cis people on cissexism and transphobia
  • Not mention specific legal protections for transsexual people to my employers
  • Only be transsexual without having any other identities
  • Silently excuse myself from activities and events which structurally exclude me
  • Do so without raising any attention or being noticed by anybody
  • Not hang out with too many other trans* people or seek trans*-only space
  • Never repost Asher’s “Die Cis Scum”
  • If I die, die quietly, and never blame them.

And now the Nerd, for hir own personal amusement, presents The List of Things I Secretly Wish I Could Get Away With Doing:

  • Answer any and all questions about my body and my medical treatment with “oh, you paying?”
  • Answer questions about my partner’s sexuality with “but we are looking to experiment with a 3rd… interested?”
  • Say that if I meet their trans* friend, we must battle to the death because like the Sith, there can only be one
  • Admit I don’t know shit about trans* celebrities and really couldn’t care less to try to learn
  • Laugh in their faces and ask them if they also learned everything they know about physics from the movies
  • Never have to think about pronouns again
  • Know how to remind others to think about pronouns without sounding like a schoolmarm
  • Respond to compliments of bravery with “you should have seen the other guy!”
  • Hog the accessible toilet like a boss
  • Come out to the 100th stranger as though it were the first time
  • Figure out a nice way to say “wow, that shit’s wicked bigoted”
  • Strangle those who utter the words “she-male”
  • Not have my gender expression be analyzed for “proof” of my identity
    • note: cis people’s actions are generally excused by friends and associates as not invalidating to their genders
  • Flirt with all the people
    • and not worry about if I should know better than to think anyone would date someone like me
  • Roll my eyes and sigh loudly whenever someone raises concern about a cis-specific issue
  • Interject “and genderqueers” whenever someone says “men and women”
  • Be the trans* hulk smashing cis-supremacy (and not even the pants would survive transformation)
  • Set up a cis jar and collect change from people who say binarist things
  • Get to walk into my office in a suit and tie like a boss
  • Be a queer atheist white trans* parent with ADHD all at the same time
  • Bust in and make space for other people of non-binary genders
  • And be thanked for it too
  • Get a rental on Trans Ally where all the cool peeps dwell (in my imagination)
  • LOL forever at Asher’s “Die Cis Scum”
  • If I must take one for the team, go out in a blaze of glory


  1. devilhasdreadsandrainbows reblogged this from radtransfem and added:
    Never, ever, express or articulate any kind of sexuality…
  2. hominycricket reblogged this from radtransfem
  3. paritytime reblogged this from radtransfem
  4. themugglefucker reblogged this from andythenerd
  5. darcy--reid reblogged this from venakhol
  6. venakhol reblogged this from radtransfem
  7. labhag reblogged this from ananiujitha
  8. ananiujitha reblogged this from radtransfem
  9. femmeiniste reblogged this from sapphicscritta
  10. sapphicscritta reblogged this from daughterofprometheus
  11. liveterfedt reblogged this from gentilh0mme
  12. peliconaut reblogged this from theeisforevelyn and added:
    Think about it.
  13. gentilh0mme reblogged this from spookysean
  14. lesbianlegbreaker reblogged this from inkstainedqueer
  15. rairahrah reblogged this from esqueletotsina
  16. spookysean reblogged this from missivesfromghosts
  17. theeisforevelyn reblogged this from missivesfromghosts