Nerd is my Gender

Things I’m Expected To Do for Cis People in Return for Their Not Hating Me: An Angry List

radtransfem:

After seeing bidyke’s remix of sanctimonioussilentagony’s list, I thought I’d sketch out the beginnings of one for transsexual folk. Improvements welcome:

  • Answer any and all questions about my body and my medical treatment no matter how invasive
  • Answer questions about my partner’s sexuality
  • Listen to their stories about other trans* people they know
  • Listen to them talk and give them my opinions on trans* celebrities
  • Celebrate with them all fictional depictions of trans* folk, no matter how misrepresentative or outright transphobic
  • Congratulate them on their correct use of names and pronouns
  • Obey when they refer to me incorrectly and tell me that I “must forgive them”
  • Smile sadly and thank them when they tell me how brave I am
  • Use the accessible toilet and be grateful
  • Stay silent if they misidentify me as gay and cis
  • Sympathise with their excuses for their and others’ transphobia
  • Approve their use of the word ‘tranny’
  • Act ‘gendered’ enough but not too ‘gendered’
    • note: these prohibitions overlap with no middle ground
  • Never, ever, express or articulate any kind of sexuality
    • this one may be trans*-woman-specific?
  • Stay quiet when cis-specific issues are being discussed
  • Never raise trans*-specific issues
  • Never get angry or upset about cissexism and transphobia
  • Never call out cis people on cissexism and transphobia
  • Not mention specific legal protections for transsexual people to my employers
  • Only be transsexual without having any other identities
  • Silently excuse myself from activities and events which structurally exclude me
  • Do so without raising any attention or being noticed by anybody
  • Not hang out with too many other trans* people or seek trans*-only space
  • Never repost Asher’s “Die Cis Scum”
  • If I die, die quietly, and never blame them.

And now the Nerd, for hir own personal amusement, presents The List of Things I Secretly Wish I Could Get Away With Doing:

  • Answer any and all questions about my body and my medical treatment with “oh, you paying?”
  • Answer questions about my partner’s sexuality with “but we are looking to experiment with a 3rd… interested?”
  • Say that if I meet their trans* friend, we must battle to the death because like the Sith, there can only be one
  • Admit I don’t know shit about trans* celebrities and really couldn’t care less to try to learn
  • Laugh in their faces and ask them if they also learned everything they know about physics from the movies
  • Never have to think about pronouns again
  • Know how to remind others to think about pronouns without sounding like a schoolmarm
  • Respond to compliments of bravery with “you should have seen the other guy!”
  • Hog the accessible toilet like a boss
  • Come out to the 100th stranger as though it were the first time
  • Figure out a nice way to say “wow, that shit’s wicked bigoted”
  • Strangle those who utter the words “she-male”
  • Not have my gender expression be analyzed for “proof” of my identity
    • note: cis people’s actions are generally excused by friends and associates as not invalidating to their genders
  • Flirt with all the people
    • and not worry about if I should know better than to think anyone would date someone like me
  • Roll my eyes and sigh loudly whenever someone raises concern about a cis-specific issue
  • Interject “and genderqueers” whenever someone says “men and women”
  • Be the trans* hulk smashing cis-supremacy (and not even the pants would survive transformation)
  • Set up a cis jar and collect change from people who say binarist things
  • Get to walk into my office in a suit and tie like a boss
  • Be a queer atheist white trans* parent with ADHD all at the same time
  • Bust in and make space for other people of non-binary genders
  • And be thanked for it too
  • Get a rental on Trans Ally where all the cool peeps dwell (in my imagination)
  • LOL forever at Asher’s “Die Cis Scum”
  • If I must take one for the team, go out in a blaze of glory

(Source: freethoughtblogs.com)

  1. devilhasdreadsandrainbows reblogged this from radtransfem and added:
    Never, ever, express or articulate any kind of sexuality…
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    Think about it.
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