It’s her safe space, she can do what she wants, I get it. But as a qenderqueer person, I have to wonder exactly where the line is drawn. What if a nonbinary person uses “he/him” pronouns? What if a trans* person acts too masculine, or mentions birth-assignment as being anything too male? She says people can bypass the sex restrictions by going incognito, but I lived 23 years of my life cleverly disguised as a girl, and I’m not about to be forced back into that broken mold!
Damn, that’s problematic. VERY problematic. It is her space, and as such she is entitled to make her own rules - but that doesn’t stop those rules being problematic. Right. The rule works in a binary, cis, normative world. But we don’t live in one of those. What happens to CAMAB/MAAB women? In the comments it is mentioned that ‘MTFs’ (broken terminology alert, broken terminology alert) are okay to comment, but are trans women likely to if they read on and find another commenter remarking that ‘“transwomen” are men’ with no dissent? If they mention their experiences of being thought to be a man, do they get banned? What happens to CAFAB/FAAB men? Are they allowed to comment by virtue of having been born with vaginas and if not are their experiences to be silenced? What about non-binary folks of all stripes? Are we allowed to comment at all? Does our commenting ability depend on our genitalia? And how the hell do you police whether someone is a man or not over the internet? Nothing is innately male or innately female or innately anything else.
And frankly, men, even cis, straight, normative men, do have shit to blame the patriarchy for. They’re massively privileged in many ways by it, but that doesn’t mean they have no right to blame it. We all do. Those of all assigned sexes/genders. Of all genders/non-genders. Of all genital configurations. The patriarchy screws all of us. Some more than others, but all are messed up. Yes, I too have come across men who mansplain stuff. It’s not good. And the way cis males especially are socialised, they’re always going to have to be on the lookout for a tendency to do that, since male privilege does exist and does make a massive difference. But that doesn’t justify making a snap judgement of an entire large portion of the population with boundaries that are unclear and erasive.
So yes. Cissexism. Binarism. Normativity. Identity policing. STFU & EYDS. Ban mansplainers and privilege deniers by all means, but don’t do it by banning people by gender.
Submitted by andythenerd. Thank you!