I feel a sort of a failure for giving in to binary pronouns. I’ve stuck fast to my ideology for almost 2 years now, but as much as I love beating my head against a wall, I’ve decided to give my head a rest (or the wall, whichever way you look at it).
But the fact is, people will not gender me correctly. And I mean will, as in willfully. I have heard every excuse under the book as to why people deserve indefinite free passes on using ze/hir like I’ve asked. And I’m meant to take this as a reasonable violation of my trust.
Now my son has turned 6. I’ve got to somehow navigate connecting this issue with him in a meaningful way, and I can’t do that in a world in which I’m continually crossed on all sides - emotionally, I can’t.
It breaks me somewhat. The same way it frustrates me that I can’t vote for the Green Party which actually gives a shit about people like me, and I’m faced with a “choice” between the Democrats and Bigotry Incarnate.
And then people see me make the most of what I have, and they feel validated somehow. How glorious for them! I’ve reinforced their binary! See, they really knew what was best for me all along!
So here I am, wearing the Emperor’s Hand-Me-Downs, where everyone tells me how great I look now I’ve finally heeded their expertise, as I hand over my dignity.