Nerd is my Gender
What's yours?
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sexgenderbody: fourloves: It’s Autism Awareness Month and, as a person with autism, I...
It’s Autism Awareness Month and, as a person with autism, I urge you to remain as unaware as possible. If someone encourages you to watch a movie or read a book about autism, run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. Movies and books about autism suck. They’re almost universally created by people who don’t have autism. On the rare occasions that they actually are created by someone who has autism, they’re usually written in the most zoo-exhibit-y style possible.
When I see someone watching movies or reading books about autism, I feel awkward as hell and avoid the person forever, because I know that they’re going to think they know about autism now. You’re wrong, guys. You don’t know about autism because you don’t have it! And that’s fine. Can we move on?
If an actual for real person with autism—or any other disability—appears in your life, do not run away. Also, do not worry about whether you’re “aware” of the person’s disability. Be aware of the individual person. Treat them as a human and not a tragedy or a museum specimen. This is the only way that anyone learns anything, and it has nothing to do with the kind of “awareness” encouraged by popular autism organizations.
So fucking full of win and awesome that I want to scream!!!
Ditto!
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Warning, this video begins with anti-autism messages.
Here’s the description from the video creator:
There are two very different perspectives that parents can have when it comes to raising an autistic child. You can focus on the difficulties and struggles, live each day like it’s a battle against autism, and not accept your child for all they are. Or, you can embrace your child—autism and all—with unconditional love. I think we owe it to our children to choose to be positive.
I feel strongly that only showing the meltdowns, the issues, all that negativity…is not only wrong, but will have a dire effect on our children as they become adults. Who will want to reach out to our children when they are adults? If their perception of autism is that of someone who really isn’t quite a person? How will autistics ever be accepted in society, when parents are bemoaning Autism everyday?
My child is here with me, with a soul, a heart, and an amazing mind. I celebrate her life everyday.
What will your perspective be? -
The first part is in my “native language,” and then the second part provides a translation, or at least an explanation. This is not a look-at-the-autie gawking freakshow as much as it is a statement about what gets considered thought, intelligence, personhood, language, and communication, and what does not.
Awesome vid is awesome.
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Please join me in speaking out against anti-autism fear-mongering!
Vaccines don’t cause autism. And even if they did, are we really suggesting that autism is worse than the measles? That people with autism are somehow so defective that it’s better to risk horrible illness and death than to risk “catching the autism”? For shame!
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On Being a Trans man With Autism
The remarks of being a boy were not a priority for my family. Having autism, I had a rough time speaking simple sentences and my sensory issues made everyday life a hell. They were more concerned about treating my autism than anything else. While it helped during childhood, it would backfire during the teenager years. It was the time of no smiles, because I was infamous for not smiling.
During adolescence, every time my breasts grew, I would literally loose it and go to a psychiatric ward. Specialists diagnosed me with schizo-affective disorder, bipolar I & II, psychosis, and a host of other mental illness.
My case was so odd that no diagnosis would divide me evenly. The answer was to give me extreme psychotophics like Rispederal which caused breast enlargement, excessive weight gain, and lactation in the breasts. Ironically, these specialists were giving me the one thing that would hurt me more than words could express. It was when I began lactation of the breasts (a common side effect) that I went into a major hospitalization that lasted for nearly a month. I told the staff constantly that “I was a boy” but they just gave me different psychotropics. Even in my impaired mental state, I was telling them the problem but they would ignore me. My parents could see I was getting worse, and they took me out. Eventually, that mental state wore off on its own.
It was only three weeks after getting out of the hospital that my parents reluctantly let me go to my first year of college. It was there that I learned of the LGBT center at the campus. For the first time, I opened up. I researched, and I could finally put in words the feelings I had my entire life. I decided I was the male gender and not the female gender.
When my parents became hostile toward my decision, I cut contact from them. I remembered all the sufferings I had gone through. I aquired a certain wisdom from my psychological sufferings. I just could not deal with people who would allow me to go through the sufferings just for the sake of normallcy. Later on, my parents came back and told me they were sorry.
I am only a Sohpmore at my college right now, but I am now getting into research. I am on track to graduate in computer engineering with honors. It gets better. =)
I already changed my first name, and I am looking for an affordable surgeon for breast removal surgery. I am not planning on taking hormones or getting bottom surgery.
I learned that if you don’t like where you are at, then you must keep moving forward and if happiness is fleeting you must give chase. That’s why it’s called the pursuit of happiness. I hope anyone reading this learns it too. -
On Neurodiversity and the Pro Choice Movement
I was recently told about the latest bit of backlash against the neurodiversity movement: that it’s incompatible with the pro choice movement, and therefore it’s misogynist.
I’m completely confused as to how people can pull this tasty bit of “logic” out of their asses, but my guess is that it stems from those in the neurodiversity movement who are against selective abortion of fetuses that are diagnosed with autism (which I don’t see how that could in any way be possible but okay).
The neurodiversity movement is no way in conflict with the pro choice movement. I myself am autistic, and unabashedly and unwaveringly pro choice. I’m pretty sure I can say the same for Eric and Evan, the other two who run this blog.
I’m sure there’s a lot more to say, but all I can say is that neurodiversity is justice for those on the autism spectrum. The pro choice movement is justice for women. Please do not bring ableism into the pro choice movement, and please do not bring misogyny into the neurodiversity movement.
— Mairead
“The neurodiversity movement is no way in conflict with the pro choice movement.” Definitely worth repeating.
Also:
I would like to make one addition to that last post about the “conflict” with the pro-choice movement.
And that’s that I (and Mairead) recognize that not all people who have uteruses are women, and not all women have uteruses.
Of course, the pro-choice movement itself ignores this a lot (as does society at large), and if I recall correctly, (some of?) the people who have claimed that they are incompatible did as well, but I want to make it clear.
— Eric
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What to say, and not say, to an autistic adult
DON’T SAY: “I never would have known. You must be very high functioning.”
SAY: “I obviously don’t know anything about autism.”DON’T SAY: “Are you sure?”
SAY: “I obviously really don’t know anything about autism.”DON’T SAY: “Isn’t that, you know, a kid thing?”
SAY: “Damn, the media works hard to erase you. That sucks.”DON’T SAY: “Don’t you get that from vaccines?”
SAY: “I almost just asked you a preposterous question. Clearly, I suck.”DON’T SAY: “You aren’t like my 5 year old nephew! You aren’t autistic!”
SAY: “The media has so effectively erased you that it didn’t occur to me that you grow up. I suck.”DON’T SAY: “You are nothing like my child! You aren’t really autistic!”
SAY: “I am bitter and angry and it isn’t your fault, so I’m going over there.”DON’T SAY: “Isn’t neurodiversity, like, an exclusive club for Aspies and high functioning autistics?”
SAY: “I may misunderstand neurodiversity. Care to explain?”DON’T SAY: “If you can ‘advocate’ so much, you aren’t really autistic.”
SAY: “I’m glad people are fighting the good fight so my kid may not have to.”DON’T SAY: “If my kid could do what you do, I’d consider her recovered.”
SAY: “I wonder what my child will be like as an adult.”DON’T SAY: “That parent is just frustrated, they don’t mean to be hateful. Have some empathy!”
SAY: “Wow, that was really rude of them. Are you ok?”DON’T SAY: “They aren’t ableist, they just don’t understand! The unfamiliar scares people!”
SAY: “What an ableist turdbucket. Ew.”DON’T SAY: “If everyone treats you like that, you’re used to it, right? Business as usual.”
SAY: “People suck. I understand why you’re often angry and frustrated.”DON’T SAY: “Why do you hate parents?”
SAY: “That shit irritates me too.”DON’T SAY: “But not all parents are like that!”
SAY: If you’re doing it right, you shouldn’t have to say anything. It should be apparent.DON’T SAY: “Oh my god that must be soooooooooo haaaaaaaaaaard.”
SAY: “I just noticed how loud and bright it is in here. Can I fix that?”DON’T SAY: “Look at me. LOOK at ME.”
SAY: “Based on what I just almost said, I have a deathwish.”DON’T SAY: “Doesn’t eating a food and deliciousness free diet fix that?”
SAY: “Pizza, burgers, or burritos?”DON’T SAY: “That sound/light/smell/random touching wasn’t that bad. Just relax.”
SAY: “There’s a quiet dark place over there. Do you want company or want to be alone?”DON’T SAY: “Aren’t you worried about passing that on to kids?”
SAY: Don’t say anything. My hypothetical future kids are none of your damn business.DON’T SAY: “What was your first period/bra/sexual encounter/significant other drama/accidental innuendo/intentional innuendo like for you?”
SAY: Again, keep your mouth shut. This is even less of your damn business.DON’T SAY: “Your parents did a really great job! You’re so high functioning!”
SAY: “You are pretty fantastic.”DON’T SAY: “Autism is such a tragedy. Don’t you hope they cure it soon so you can be normal?”
SAY: “Eliminating you would be a tragedy.”This is so spot-on. I was rolling in laughter by “clearly, I suck”.
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![fyprivilegedenyingsbc:
[Picture: Background: 8 piece pie style color split with red and teal alternating. Foreground: White guy wearing a sweat shirt over a button down. Has crossed arms, and Simon Baron-Cohen’s head replaces the original model’s. Top text: “We know that autistic people lack empathy because they fail the Empathy Quotient test.” Bottom text: “We know that the EQ test is valid because autistic people fail it.”]True story: SBC has asserted both of these things in papers.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkbv5geDEg1qjxc4vo1_250.jpg)
[Picture: Background: 8 piece pie style color split with red and teal alternating. Foreground: White guy wearing a sweat shirt over a button down. Has crossed arms, and Simon Baron-Cohen’s head replaces the original model’s. Top text: “We know that autistic people lack empathy because they fail the Empathy Quotient test.” Bottom text: “We know that the EQ test is valid because autistic people fail it.”]
True story: SBC has asserted both of these things in papers.
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[Video: Taped is people using the installation. Over that, a narrator speaks:
“One of the most prominent signs of autism in children is the avoidance of eye contact. Autism Speaks wanted people to truly experience how this must feel for parents. We created an interactive video screen installation featuring a life-sized girl. People were invited to make eye contact with this girl. No matter how people tried, the girl would avoid eye contact every time. Using state-of-the-art Kinect technology, the motion sensor was able to track the person’s head and body movement, causing the girl to look away. Avoiding eye contact could be a sign of autism. Learn all the signs at autismspeaks.org.”]
One of the most prominent signs of autism in children is the avoidance of eye contact. Autism Speaks wanted people to truly experience how this must feel for parents. We created a interactive video screen installation, featuring a life size girl. People were invited to make eye contact with this girl. No matter how people tried, the girl would avoid eye contact every time. Using state of the art kinect technology, the motion sensor was able to track the person’s head and body, causing the girl to move away. Avoiding eye contact could be a sign of autism. Learn all the signs at autismspeaks.org.
This makes me want to throw up. So much wrong with this.
Time to go into a more in depth rant about this than I did on my personal blog…
Everything about this makes me so angry. Mostly the very idea that this ad was based on, the idea that autism is all about the plight and suffering of the poor parents that have children who are affected (but really, that seems to be what Autism Speaks ITSELF is based on). But also, how this was made out to be some sort of game. I mean, I know the girl in the interactive ad was only a model and was most likely not autistic, but I somehow could feel what it would be like to be her, if she really were an autistic girl standing right there, to be leered at and stared at by all those strangers. Suddenly I was six years old again; lonely, scared, misunderstood. But do you think Autism Speaks cares about that? What it’s like to be a lonely, scared, misunderstood person who actually has autism? No. No they don’t. They’ve certainly demonstrated this in many, many instances prior to this.
— Mairead
If you subscribe to the myth of neutrotypicality, I would fit into the NT category. And let me tell you what, the idea that I owe people eye contact makes even my life just that much more complicated. Ask yourself: is it more important that I look you in the eye, or that I actually process the words that are coming out of your mouth? Because in all my 24 years, I’ve only been able to consistently do one or the other, not both at the same time.
I would like to see this ad replaced with a new one. This one has a large crowd of people all staring right at you, and no matter what you do, they won’t stop staring at you impatiently. The message reads: “We wanted people to truly experience how this must feel for people with autism. We created an interactive video screen installation featuring a life-sized crowd. People were invited to avoid inspection by the crowd. No matter how people tried, the crowd would leer every time. Using state-of-the-art Kinect technology, the motion sensor was able to track the subjects’ head and body movements, causing the crowd to stare at them. Intense eye contact can be a sign of ableism.”
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Intro to Allism
I just stumbled upon this for my first time, and it is FANTASTIC! I love de-centering of privileged perspectives.
NOTE: This is satire.
It’s highly probable that I have allism. As of yet, there is no cure.
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I don't have autism. I am autistic.
I know that y’all are taught person first language, and many communities prefer it and I support that. But the purpose of person-first language is to respect the person you are describing. Ask them what they prefer. I, and many MANY other autistic people, prefer to be called autistic, not “living with autism” or “having autism” or “an individual who happens to have an intimate neurological understanding from living with autism” or whatever.
I’m an advocate for people-first language, but it is good to remember that using any language to describe a person in a way that is unwanted, is thoughtless and rude.
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The proper attitude to be taken toward the perpetuation of poor types is that which has been attributed to Huxley. “We are sorry for you,” he is reported to have said; “we will do our best for you (and in so doing we elevate ourselves, since mercy blesses him that gives and him that takes), but we deny you the right to parentage. You may live, but you must not propagate.
The Early Days of Eugenics: A Scientific American editorial from 1911 praising the new science of eugenics also hints at the darker side of this philosophy.
This article may have been written 100 years ago, but make no mistake - there are still people today who would apply such a horrid philosophy to the poor, queers, autistics, trans peeps, people with disabilities, etc.
Pro-choice means the ability to choose parenthood, even when it is looked down upon.
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I’m Too Smart To Understand Human Beings
[Warning: ableism.] Sean makes fun of Mensa for this, but I think it’s a good idea. Wearing color-coded stickers for how receptive to physical contact the individual is: red for “no”, yellow for “ask”, green for “yes”. This way, the huggers can all find each other, and the no-touch people can feel safe, and the room for “accidents” is at a minimum. His derision and lack of understanding as to why “intelligent” people would need to make their boundaries known shows a spectacular level of privilege denial, and I hope this catches on in the atheist and sex-positive communities. [Note, the comments seem to be worth reading for once, as people try to set Sean straight on the issue of touch and the autism spectrum.]
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For people without autism (allistic folk):
Autistic people are not inspirational geniuses who were stolen from their parents by vaccines.
I’m autistic. Yes, that’s right, a real live autistic adult who’s using the internet unsupervised. So, unsurprisingly, I’ve tracked the autism tag to find other folks on the spectrum to follow, etc. But y’all are really fucking the tag up. The vast majority of the posts tagged ‘autism’, are really fucking offensive to most of us autistic activists. Oh, and that’s people with autism who are autism activists, not allistics who try and get us cured, by the way. On a side note, please stop calling yourself ‘autistic activists’ or ‘autistic parents’ when you don’t actually have autism.
Anyway, you allistic folk in my tracked tag feel the need to post, generally, four common kinds of things that most of us angry angry auties don’t really like to see that much. These are:
- “My child was ‘stolen’ from me by autism, my life is terrible, my child is a burden”
- “Vaccines are pure evil. They cause autism. WAAAAA BIG PHARMA!!!!”
- “All autistic people are geniuses and are special snowflakes and are wonderful! I’m a good autistic parent!”
- “Here’s a picture of an autistic kid. Look how terrible his life must be! Hope you feel guilty about crying over Harry Potter!”
And seriously, y’all need to stop. Let’s look at what’s wrong with these kinds of posts:
- Your child is a human being with feelings and emotions just like you. They may not express themselves quite how you’d like, and yeah, your selfish cookie cutter dream of having a kid to best your sister’s kid or to live through is long gone, but stop treating them like a punishment. Learn to realise that your kid is actually a cool little person.
- The studies linking vaccines and autism have been debunked. Especially the MMR one. Stop buying into conspiracy theories. For that matter, stop acting as though dying of measels is a better fate than being autistic.
- Saying all autistic folk are magical or whatever is like saying all Asians can do math. It’s still offensive and it’s still a stereotype. Some of us are geniuses, some of us are lovely people, yes. But like with allistic folk, some of us aren’t geniuses, and some of us are assholes.
- People with disabilities and medical conditions do not exist to make you feel better about yourselves. Stop that.
Now, think about this, go and read up about how fucking evil Autism Speaks is, and stay out of my tracked tag with this shit. I swear I’m getting a goddamn embolism every time I read that thing.
(Source: campdracula5eva)
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Can you tell me if there are any GOOD autism organizations that one could donate to instead of Autism Speaks? Please respond as quickly as you can. I'm trying to divert a fundraiser for AS.
The Autistic Self Advocacy Network is an organization that definitely deserves that money more than AutSpeaks.
For real, get on board with self-advocacy! Autism Speaks is a huge NO.
Genderqueer with a touch of happy humanism.
