Nerd is my Gender
What's yours?
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Steampunk Jesus
Caption: What shall it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his coal?
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If you say “Jesus” backwards, it sounds like “sausage”.
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“What we’re talking about is the prospected result between Jesus Christ, the man, and Batman, the savior Gotham needs.”
(via Lance)
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Got an argument you think will convince me that I’m going to hell? Not anymore you don’t!
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Want!
(via Shirts for the Rapture)
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Top Ten Reasons Jesus Hasn't Returned
10. Stubbornly wanted to build all those promised mansions himself the old fashioned way and people had sex (despite his and Paul’s vain attempts to advocate celibacy) faster than he could finish them.
9. Had to maintain the pretenses that no one would know the day he would return despite the endless nutcases predicting every single day for the last 2,000 years.
8. Turns out, Satan successfully managed to tempt Jesus in the desert and even though Yahweh had to call the whole thing off, Satan decided to keep the project rolling.
7. Early Christian evangelists with their magic powers made their 144,000 saint quota quite early, Yahweh made a new heavens and a new earth, and he just forgot to turn off the old ones.
6. Some earnest Christian teen keeps begging for “just five more minutes” of sleep in every time zone for the last 2,000 years and Jesus just can’t say no to such epic sincerity.
5. As we learned from the book of Job, Yahweh has a horrible gambling habit with people’s souls, and some snarky demon in his court bet him that he would never allow his promises to look so silly if left unfulfilled for the next 10,000 years.
4. Turns out, Christians with guilty consciences really DON’T mean it when they ask for forgiveness and then keep sinning, and Jesus still just hasn’t met his quota of actual saints yet.
3. Though it sounded good at the time, Yahweh has been having second thoughts about that whole eternal damnation thing and decided procrastinating on Judgment Day was an adequate loophole in order to save face.
2. The original autographs of the inerrant Bible actually said that at the end of time there would be “Star Wars” and “rumors of Star Wars in 3D” and later scribes didn’t understand his lengthy digression on rotoscoping.
1. Christianity is false.
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(via Preach It!)
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bronze age: still failing
(Thanks Jen)
How could I not reblog this jewel? Haha
People keep telling me I have no hope. That makes me wonder what I’m supposed to do with this large quantity of hope-like feelings I keep having within myself. Oh well, must be my imagination. ;)
[Image is of a Facebook conversation. Original Post: “I would honestly hate to believe that this life is all there is. Without the promise of eternal salvation through Jesus Christ, there is NO hope. It’s amazing how God never changes, yet science is always changing. What does that say, Mr. Hawking?” The reply: “Maybe that science and human understanding is always progressing and God is still just as invisible as he was in the Bronze Age.”]
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Person in heaven: But I’m forgiven! You died on the cross for the world’s sins! I believe in You! Jesus Saves!
God on throne: That’s absurd. Why would I need to sacrifice Myself to Myself to allow me to change a rule… I made Myself?!
(via That’s Absurd)
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28. I bet Jesus is OK with the gays.
Jesus actually never mentioned homosexuality, but since he lived in Roman times, we can take a guess: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality_in_ancient_Rome#Moral_opinions
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Look, Christians of True Hope Church, maybe you’re not mean, old-fashioned, hypocritical, judgmental, or indifferent; but Jesus isn’t the reason because Jesus doesn’t exist. You’re good people because you choose to be and because you help each other choose to be. Own it.
Oh.. you mean the Jesus who taught the old testament? The one who said “I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.”
That Jesus?
Oh, the guy who said “The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me.” That seems pretty mean, judgemental and indifferent.
I mean, seriously, that Jesus is not who you think he is, clearly.
(Source: a-jedi-knight)
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Annotated Gospels (the "Jesus was a Dick" edition)
Ben Schuldt read through the entire 4-book Gospels to bring us this analysis on why most of Jesus’ moral advice is actually immoral. Here is a PDF of those books of the Bible with his highlighting and annotations on the content. But don’t take my word for it - read for yourself!
He says: You may need the latest edition of Adobe Reader to view it. You’ll have to download the file to view the commentary notes.https://docs.google.com/open?id=0Bxg5Qg9Ka1qGaWpxTmNiNWlXems
Genderqueer with a touch of happy humanism.
