It appears that the most unlikely name of all may now be supporting Mitt Romney for president:
Andy [or insert your name here]
Holy betrayal, Batman, I’m supporting Mitt Romney?!?
Please give me a moment to explain.
That would be ever so helpful of you, thanks.
Thanks to the Citizens United decision, corporations now have the same free speech rights as people when it comes to spending money on America’s elections. Every time you pay your bills, buy gas, food, or any other everyday item, some of that money is going directly into Mitt Romney’s campaign budget.
Dollars which have touched my hands may have touched hands which touched Mitt’s! However shall I be absolved of so terrible a crime?
That is why it is so important that you renew your PFAW membership.
If PFAW loses someone as committed to the American Way as you are PFAW Supporter — to someone like Mitt Romney — either directly or simply by your inaction … our civil rights and liberties as Americans will be absolutely devastated.
Absolutely devastated? My American Way? This just keeps getting worse and worse!
I, er… didn’t realize I was a member to begin with. Funny how my limited resources tend to run off in the support of causes without my knowledge.
You already know what Romney’s extreme right agenda would include —
- Advancing the War on Women — defunding family planning, denying access to basic birth control, and criminalizing reproductive choices.
- Packing the Supreme Court with justices like Robert Bork — who Mitt Romney named to co-chair his presidential advisory committee on law, the Constitution and the judiciary.
- Privatizing Social Security and devastating Medicaid.
- Slashing federal safeguards for the environment, energy and education.
Yes, yes, these sound like terrible horrible things that are already happening under a Dem presidential watch, but go on.
Please help us fight back by making your renewal gift to PFAW today.
With just a few months left before Election Day, we can’t take ANY chances! Republican extremist and anti-Union Governor Scott Walker’s victory in Wisconsin showed the impact of the Right’s big (and early) money advantage. And that’s exactly why your renewed support is needed more than ever before!
I’m sorry, I thought the solution to these sorts of situations is to correct the systematic flaws in campaign finance which allow government to be bought and sold in the first place, but I’m sure you have other glorious not-for-profit ideas. Continue.
We need to pull out all the stops to defeat Romney and his radical right agenda RIGHT NOW! There isn’t much time left! It is imperative that we -
- Organize progressive voters and get them to the polls on Election Day. Get-out-the-vote efforts were essential to our victories in 2006 and 2008, and will be again in 2012.
- Fight the outrageous lies being propagated by the Republicans and the Tea Partiers to build unfounded fear and resentment for President Obama and Democrats in Congress.
- Buy airtime and advertisements on television, radio and the internet. We also need funding for phone banking and mail efforts to reach voters directly.
- Put “boots-on-the-ground.” People For the American Way is placing staff members in key districts to best coordinate our forces.
Oh silly me, turns out the best response is getting people all riled up. I’m sure that will fix everything.
All this takes resources — which is why PFAW needs you to renew your 2012 support immediately. Because if the unthinkable happens, we will only have ourselves to blame for not doing even more to prevent it. Please renew today!
Oh no wait, giving you money will fix everything. Gotcha.
Sincerely,
Michael Keegan, President


must. reblog. infinitely.
I’m sure that will wash off eventually.
I masturbate however I like....
They know. Oh God, they know…
Is he now a Science Bros...
You don’t understand how bad I crave for this ship to be...
Joss Whedon totally just made science bros canon!