Nerd is my Gender
What's yours?
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No Lords, No Masters
To all you nonreligious people out there, here’s a forum for discussing human rights and social justice issues from a secular perspective.
Kyriarchy are the structures of domination working together as a network - not just one group dominating another. Its branches include but are not limited to racism, sexism, cissexism, heterosexism, ageism, and ableism.
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What to say, and not say, to an autistic adult
DON’T SAY: “I never would have known. You must be very high functioning.”
SAY: “I obviously don’t know anything about autism.”DON’T SAY: “Are you sure?”
SAY: “I obviously really don’t know anything about autism.”DON’T SAY: “Isn’t that, you know, a kid thing?”
SAY: “Damn, the media works hard to erase you. That sucks.”DON’T SAY: “Don’t you get that from vaccines?”
SAY: “I almost just asked you a preposterous question. Clearly, I suck.”DON’T SAY: “You aren’t like my 5 year old nephew! You aren’t autistic!”
SAY: “The media has so effectively erased you that it didn’t occur to me that you grow up. I suck.”DON’T SAY: “You are nothing like my child! You aren’t really autistic!”
SAY: “I am bitter and angry and it isn’t your fault, so I’m going over there.”DON’T SAY: “Isn’t neurodiversity, like, an exclusive club for Aspies and high functioning autistics?”
SAY: “I may misunderstand neurodiversity. Care to explain?”DON’T SAY: “If you can ‘advocate’ so much, you aren’t really autistic.”
SAY: “I’m glad people are fighting the good fight so my kid may not have to.”DON’T SAY: “If my kid could do what you do, I’d consider her recovered.”
SAY: “I wonder what my child will be like as an adult.”DON’T SAY: “That parent is just frustrated, they don’t mean to be hateful. Have some empathy!”
SAY: “Wow, that was really rude of them. Are you ok?”DON’T SAY: “They aren’t ableist, they just don’t understand! The unfamiliar scares people!”
SAY: “What an ableist turdbucket. Ew.”DON’T SAY: “If everyone treats you like that, you’re used to it, right? Business as usual.”
SAY: “People suck. I understand why you’re often angry and frustrated.”DON’T SAY: “Why do you hate parents?”
SAY: “That shit irritates me too.”DON’T SAY: “But not all parents are like that!”
SAY: If you’re doing it right, you shouldn’t have to say anything. It should be apparent.DON’T SAY: “Oh my god that must be soooooooooo haaaaaaaaaaard.”
SAY: “I just noticed how loud and bright it is in here. Can I fix that?”DON’T SAY: “Look at me. LOOK at ME.”
SAY: “Based on what I just almost said, I have a deathwish.”DON’T SAY: “Doesn’t eating a food and deliciousness free diet fix that?”
SAY: “Pizza, burgers, or burritos?”DON’T SAY: “That sound/light/smell/random touching wasn’t that bad. Just relax.”
SAY: “There’s a quiet dark place over there. Do you want company or want to be alone?”DON’T SAY: “Aren’t you worried about passing that on to kids?”
SAY: Don’t say anything. My hypothetical future kids are none of your damn business.DON’T SAY: “What was your first period/bra/sexual encounter/significant other drama/accidental innuendo/intentional innuendo like for you?”
SAY: Again, keep your mouth shut. This is even less of your damn business.DON’T SAY: “Your parents did a really great job! You’re so high functioning!”
SAY: “You are pretty fantastic.”DON’T SAY: “Autism is such a tragedy. Don’t you hope they cure it soon so you can be normal?”
SAY: “Eliminating you would be a tragedy.”This is so spot-on. I was rolling in laughter by “clearly, I suck”.
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[Video: Taped is people using the installation. Over that, a narrator speaks:
“One of the most prominent signs of autism in children is the avoidance of eye contact. Autism Speaks wanted people to truly experience how this must feel for parents. We created an interactive video screen installation featuring a life-sized girl. People were invited to make eye contact with this girl. No matter how people tried, the girl would avoid eye contact every time. Using state-of-the-art Kinect technology, the motion sensor was able to track the person’s head and body movement, causing the girl to look away. Avoiding eye contact could be a sign of autism. Learn all the signs at autismspeaks.org.”]
One of the most prominent signs of autism in children is the avoidance of eye contact. Autism Speaks wanted people to truly experience how this must feel for parents. We created a interactive video screen installation, featuring a life size girl. People were invited to make eye contact with this girl. No matter how people tried, the girl would avoid eye contact every time. Using state of the art kinect technology, the motion sensor was able to track the person’s head and body, causing the girl to move away. Avoiding eye contact could be a sign of autism. Learn all the signs at autismspeaks.org.
This makes me want to throw up. So much wrong with this.
Time to go into a more in depth rant about this than I did on my personal blog…
Everything about this makes me so angry. Mostly the very idea that this ad was based on, the idea that autism is all about the plight and suffering of the poor parents that have children who are affected (but really, that seems to be what Autism Speaks ITSELF is based on). But also, how this was made out to be some sort of game. I mean, I know the girl in the interactive ad was only a model and was most likely not autistic, but I somehow could feel what it would be like to be her, if she really were an autistic girl standing right there, to be leered at and stared at by all those strangers. Suddenly I was six years old again; lonely, scared, misunderstood. But do you think Autism Speaks cares about that? What it’s like to be a lonely, scared, misunderstood person who actually has autism? No. No they don’t. They’ve certainly demonstrated this in many, many instances prior to this.
— Mairead
If you subscribe to the myth of neutrotypicality, I would fit into the NT category. And let me tell you what, the idea that I owe people eye contact makes even my life just that much more complicated. Ask yourself: is it more important that I look you in the eye, or that I actually process the words that are coming out of your mouth? Because in all my 24 years, I’ve only been able to consistently do one or the other, not both at the same time.
I would like to see this ad replaced with a new one. This one has a large crowd of people all staring right at you, and no matter what you do, they won’t stop staring at you impatiently. The message reads: “We wanted people to truly experience how this must feel for people with autism. We created an interactive video screen installation featuring a life-sized crowd. People were invited to avoid inspection by the crowd. No matter how people tried, the crowd would leer every time. Using state-of-the-art Kinect technology, the motion sensor was able to track the subjects’ head and body movements, causing the crowd to stare at them. Intense eye contact can be a sign of ableism.”
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I admit, I used to be a language snob. But then I read an argument similar to the one below, so I started paying attention to various situations in which less-than-perfect language was used, and people’s reactions. After a few months, I came to the conclusion that a lot of the time the language discrepancy is pointed out for the express purpose of “putting someone in hir place”. In other words, we all are rather prone to using “proper English” as a tool of the kyriarchy.
I’ve been trying to stop doing this. I ask myself “can I understand the speaker’s intent? is this for an academic or journalistic publication?” If the answers are yes and no (respectively), then I need to drop it, as it’s none of my goddamn business regulating another person’s tongue usage.
(Besides being racist, this can also be classist and ableist, as not everyone can afford a “proper” education and not everyone’s brains can process English the same way.)
This anonymous submission gives me an opportunity to go off about language.
Look, there is no “right” way. There are certainly more formal ways of speaking than others, and there are situations where slang or regional dialects may be less than helpful.
But sometimes, in some places, some people pronounce a-s-k as “ax,” or e-s-p-e-c-i-a-l-l-y as “expecially.” So what? Like I said, sometimes, in some places, some people. There are many different ways of talking, different choices we can make with our words. You may say, “Don’t play me like that,” and I may say, “Why you carrying me like that?” And we both mean, “Why are you trying to deceive me?” or “Why are you trying to do wrong by me?” You say soda, I say pop. IT’S PERFECTLY FINE. It’s a-ok. It’s all good.
Even if we don’t always make the same word choices as another person, we usually know what the other person means, so don’t be a jerk about it. Whether it’s all the different ways within the United States, or all the different ways around the world, the important thing is to keep trying to communicate, not nitpicking those attempts.
And, yes, there is a history of a “black” way of speaking, though it certainly does not apply to all black people, nor do all black people talk differently from white people, nor do all black people who do talk different from some white people talk in the same way, nor do all white people talk the same way, nor is there a “white” way of speaking, nor should “the right way” (i.e. the formal use of English) be considered the “white” way (if you don’t believe me, get a white person from Boston, a white person from Alabama, and a white person from Minnesota in the same room, and try to tell me they all talk the same). That history, that dialect, and those different language choices in what we may consider “black” culture are neither superior nor inferior to other ways of speaking.
A black person in a big city with what has been called a “black” dialect is not “ghetto.” A white person in a rural town with what has been called a “Southern” accent is not a “hick.” A Latino or Latino for whom English is a second language, who still may have a pronounced accent originating from another country, doesn’t “need to learn to speak American.” An Asian-Pacific American in the same situation isn’t a “fob.”
STFU Racists! I hate your racist epithets and pejorative language!
But… I don’t hate on anyone’s dialect, accent, or lingua franca. So STFU, language snobs.
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You didn't need to put that stupid ass description below your submission on genderqueer. If there were any blind people looking at that page, they wouldn't feel left out because they couldn't see a photo of you. Blind people have accepted their blindness, it's people like you who feel the need to get way too politically correct and do dumb unnecessary shit like that.
Asked by Anonymous
If blind people can accept their blindness, you can surely find it within yourself acceptance for my descriptive ways. Unless that’s too difficult for your narrow mind to bend around. In which case, perhaps you should close your eyes to the world around you, then only those who use screen readers will have to put up with my writing. :D
(Link to post referenced above: http://genderqueer.tumblr.com/post/5905657059/submitted-by-andythenerd-nerd-is-my-gender-i)
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Intro to Allism
I just stumbled upon this for my first time, and it is FANTASTIC! I love de-centering of privileged perspectives.
NOTE: This is satire.
It’s highly probable that I have allism. As of yet, there is no cure.
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A Brief Introduction
Hi! I’m Kaylyn, and I started this blog for a few reasons:
- The lack of active, easy to read ADHD/ADD cenetered blogs
- The lack of a positive, safe place for us to share our stories
- The lack of an ADHD blog involved in the neurodiversity movement
- The lack of retaliation against the stereotypes of ADHD/ADD
If you have or know someone with ADHD/ADD, come along with me.
If you want to educate yourself, or just hang out with us… well, you come too!
Also if anyone wants to be a member, that would rule! go here
And go ahead and submit stuff! Share your story!
~ Love, fyeahadhd
Yay! Many people on the internet may not know this, but anyone who’s met me does - I have ADHD. And it’s okay to be me.
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Truth Wins Out embraces ableism.
My comment to them:
While I agree that equal access to marriage should be available to all people regardless of gender, this is a shockingly bigoted post. I have come to expect more from Truth Wins Out.
For one, there’s nothing wrong with marrying a cousin, from a scientific perspective: http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2008/12/cousinmarriage/ The rates of birth defects are not significantly different from the rest of the population. In fact, it’s more risky getting pregnant over the age of 40!
Also, “buck-toothed morons”? What, are you 12? Making fun of people with dental issues or developmental disabilities is the opposite of the message we’re trying to spread of love and acceptance. It gets better! Unless it comes to protecting children with disabilities from bullying, then all bets are off, it seems.
(via A Heartfelt Thanks to Our “Pro-Family” Buck-Toothed Overlords for Protecting Marriage)
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It’s not about censorship; it’s about respect.
(via PSA: The R-Word)
You know what else isn’t okay? Helmet jokes. Seriously people, cut that shit out.
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![fyeahpdp:
[Picture: Background: 6 piece pie style color split with pink and blue alternating. Foreground: White woman wearing a plain white t-shirt with long brown hair. Her arms are folded over her chest and she has an incredulous expression. Top text: “You choose not to eat dairy and wheat,” Bottom text: “so you can’t complain that my choice of restaurant leaves you out.”]
My mother said this to me, after I tried to explain how frustrating it is that I really can’t eat out with them, which is usually the only time I get the chance to see her. I’m sensitive to lactose and gluten; it’s not a bloody choice! If I eat either I get psoriasis and eventually arthritis. Both of these conditions will get worse the more I eat lactose and/or dairy over my lifetime, so it’s crucial that I eat little or none of them.
But because my mother doesn’t have to live with the effects of food sensitivity (that she’s aware of), she tells me it’s my choice. Yes, I choose to be left out, and to make restaurant choices a pain for her! [Sarcasm.] I’d love to be able to go out to a restaurant every week and eat whatever I want.
It shouldn’t matter even if it is a choice. If you wish to connect with someone on a personal level, you simply must be sensitive to their food choices to make them more comfortable. Otherwise, what’s the point of going out to eat together? If you’re doing it for the enjoyment of the food alone, go out by yourself.](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llu10dsogU1qgy0fio1_250.jpg)
[Picture: Background: 6 piece pie style color split with pink and blue alternating. Foreground: White woman wearing a plain white t-shirt with long brown hair. Her arms are folded over her chest and she has an incredulous expression.
Top text: “You choose not to eat dairy and wheat,” Bottom text: “so you can’t complain that my choice of restaurant leaves you out.”]My mother said this to me, after I tried to explain how frustrating it is that I really can’t eat out with them, which is usually the only time I get the chance to see her. I’m sensitive to lactose and gluten; it’s not a bloody choice! If I eat either I get psoriasis and eventually arthritis. Both of these conditions will get worse the more I eat lactose and/or dairy over my lifetime, so it’s crucial that I eat little or none of them.
But because my mother doesn’t have to live with the effects of food sensitivity (that she’s aware of), she tells me it’s my choice. Yes, I choose to be left out, and to make restaurant choices a pain for her! [Sarcasm.] I’d love to be able to go out to a restaurant every week and eat whatever I want.
It shouldn’t matter even if it is a choice. If you wish to connect with someone on a personal level, you simply must be sensitive to their food choices to make them more comfortable. Otherwise, what’s the point of going out to eat together? If you’re doing it for the enjoyment of the food alone, go out by yourself.
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Self-Help for Adult ADD / ADHD: Tips for Managing Symptoms and Getting Focused
I need to laugh at this because if I don’t I’m going to cry.
Allot yourself limited amounts of time for each task.
YA THINK?! Thank you so much, I never thought of that before. Not once in my 20+ years of existence did I think that maybe I should prioritise. It would never have occurred to me that I should stick to a routine. You’ve totally just saved my life with these completely bloody obvious “tips” that I’ve only been told since I was five.
“Listen actively and don’t interrupt.” Really? Don’t interrupt? Well why didn’t I think of that before! I’m so glad the internet told me this, because it’s not like I haven’t had a long list of friends and family treat me like I’m a self-centered jerk because of it, I might never have realized otherwise.
(Source: ndelphinus)
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What a cute idea! So what do they call it, the math-lover’s cutting board? The nerdy chef cutting board? The engineer’s cutting board? Nope, they had to ruin it with ableism:
The OCD Chef Cutting Board. Don’t worry, being a little OCD in the kitchen isn’t really a bad thing. Cutting everything up exactly the same size means it all cooks more evenly. Your neurosis actually makes you a better chef. Sometimes it’s good to be a little crazy.
Um… Seriously, no. Just don’t. OCD isn’t cute and innocent, it’s potentially debilitating, and it’s not your issue to appropriate.
(via OCD Chef Cutting Board)
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Those who defend color-blindness, or gender-blindness, or orientation-blindness, or ability-blindness, claim to do so in the name of equality. The general principle here seems to be that if we want people to be equal, we all have to be the same. Only then can we isolate what we really can and can’t do or have or have not achieved.
Except – not really. At best, it’s a lazy way to go about it. At worst, the notion that people have to be made to be all the same in order to be equal is a repugnant one. By blinding your yourself to aspects of an individual’s identity that are problematic or complicated within a larger context, you are not meeting the standards of equality. You are deliberately reshaping different individuals into an existing mold that conforms to a single, traditional standard of worth, which exists primarily because it is traditional and standard. You are taking apart individuals to rebuild into your own ideal, informed only by your own tradition and standard, and that means, in reality, you are part of the same damn problem.
Jen @ Skepchick: Why Blindness Is Not Equality -
At the local diner, the waitress asked my friend what I would like to eat. Apparently, because I use a wheelchair, I am unable to order my own lunch.
Microaggressions, though I’ve heard this same story over and over from multiple sources.
It’s okay (even encouraged) to look people in the eye and talk to them like they’re human. Try it some time.
(Source: microaggressions.com)
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How to Post Images on Tumblr With Better Accessibility
Tumblr’s Photo upload tool is inherently unfriendly to screen readers. Even if you include an image description, Tumblr is set up in such a way that it will read ALL the caption text TWICE. This is particularly bad when images come with long text posts beneath them. Additionally these descriptions are easily lost after several reblogs, rendering them useless and adding confusion.
Instead, use Tumblr’s Text tool. Why? Because with the Text tool you can provide actual HTML friendly image descriptions that screen readers will love. And with every reblog, the description will stick with the image. No need for crowd sourced solutions. Here’s how to do it.
Select the “+ Upload photo” option in the upper left hand corner. This will open your browser’s image upload dialogue. Select the image and choose OK. This will add the image into the post area.
Now highlight the image you’ve uploaded and select the “Insert/edit image” tool. This will open a small image properties window.
Now describe your image in the image description field. Remember to keep your description short. Less than 90 characters. If there are additional nuances you wish to highlight about the image, you should cover them in the text post following the image. Remember to describe only the facts of the image. Don’t include your opinions, save those for the text post following the image.
You’ve now uploaded an image that most screen readers will have an easy time handling.
Additional Benefits With This Method:
You can post multiple images in one post and avoid the horrible Flash photo slideshow.
Problems With This Method:
You lose support for high quality images. This can be overcome by linking to the image hosted somewhere else that supports high quality images, like Flickr.
This also complicates content source links. If you’re afraid of your images being stolen, try including watermarks and linking each image to your personal portfolio. However even with a regular image post, you risk people stealing your content.
Comments, Thoughts, Concerns or Improvements?
I will try to keep this in mind as much as possible.
(Source: harpermd)
Genderqueer with a touch of happy humanism.
