If you think you can stomach a little child abuse, go read the link first.  If you think you can stand feeling uncomfortable, continue on reading my comments here, because if you don’t feel uncomfortable, I haven’t shaken you up enough.

Whose fault is it that this little girl is eager to modify her body in this way?  ”The mother!” I hear you all say.  ”Abuse!  Her child should be taken away!”  It is abuse, no doubt there.  But it’s not only the mother’s fault.

It’s ours as well.

The fact is, the mother isn’t entirely wrong about how her daughter’s body modifications will help her later on in life.  Economically and socially speaking, she’ll probably be more popular, seen as more beautiful, and as more competent and deserving of preferential treatment as a result. She might even consider the benefits to be a fair trade-off for the psychological damage which results.

And how is this possible?  What sort of society rewards her behavior and encourages her to continue?  The society we create every day.

Every time we whisper loudly behind the back of a woman with unshaved legs about how “gross” she is, we create a world in which mothers want to save their daughters from that humiliation.

Every time we purchase a wrinkle-reducing or anti-aging product, we’re feeding an industry which will in turn pump more advertisements onto our airwaves which push increasingly unrealistic standards for healthy human skin into the subconscious thoughts and feelings of 8-year-old girls.

Every time we increase the hit count of a website which puts “beautified” bodies on sexual display, we’re casting our electronic ballots, voting on those bodies as being the standard against which all other bodies fall short, no matter how rich with “natural beauty” they may be.

Yes, this mother is abusing her child.

And we’re standing right there next to her, handing her the tools.

(You can also participate in a discussion on this topic here: http://www.atheistnexus.org/group/kyriarchy/forum/topics/thoughts-on-beauty-standards)

Child molestation is serious business.  The person most likely to harm a child is someone ze knows, not a stranger.  If a young person you know comes to you, and admits to an unwelcome experience with an adult, don’t jump to conclusions.  I know it may seem like “but he’s such a trusted family friend, he’d never do that!”  But of all the people I know who have been molested, it was always by a relative or close friend of the family.  Why?  Because those are the only people who have access to alone-time with children on a regular basis.  Food for thought.





I really, really thought people needed to see this.

[Trigger warning for… really abusive words towards autistic people, I don’t even know what to call this]

Those born with the affliction of Asperger’s Syndrome survive at the emotional and psychological expense of others.

That’s a quote from this group’s poetry book about people with Asperger’s.

I know that people do think this, but I think I’m in shock that anyone said it in such words. I am a parasite.

I just don’t really know what to say about this right now… but, thought I need to share it with someone….

[Submisison by nonhumanquotes]

I frequently hear people respond to bullying issues with “why don’t they fight back? Why don’t they get help?”  This is why.  Fighting back will only get the student punished.  Getting help could lead to further ridicule from classmates or even teachers.  Plus many teachers don’t even feel they have the legal standing to offer the support that they’d like.  We cannot expect the most vulnerable members of society to provide for their own protection!  This change cannot come from the bottom, it must be a top-down action.  It doesn’t get better until we make it better.

Ever wonder “why doesn’t she leave him?”  Sometimes, even when staying is bad, leaving is truly hell:

Legal Aid got me nothing in equitable distribution except the stuff I ran away with. The judge ruled that I kept what I had in my possession and Nate kept what he had in his possession. Nate had taken out a second mortgage on our house without my knowledge, plus run up the debut on the credit cards, and so Nate persuaded the judge that in order to split the property 50/50, it was only fair that the marital debt also be divided 50/50. The judge bought this argument, and I got nothing. Not even the children’s toys.

This response was particularly moving, so I wanted to share with you all.

Joan, a white woman with white hair and aged features Reply by Joan:

I’ve notice that too.  I think there are several reasons.  One is cultural, females were raised to submit, yield, even vote as their fathers or husbands voted.  We had a mighty suffragette here in Spokane during the early 1900s, May Arkwright Hutton, that wore tuxedos to parties in her beautiful mansion, smoked cigars, and made an awfully lot of noise for women’s right to vote.  She was a role model for me as a young girl. Her mansion was a few blocks from my home … of course the other homes are working-class homes.  http://stories.washingtonhistory.org/suffrage/People/mhutton.aspx

Another reason is practical.  Up until my generation, women worked in the home, had few contacts outside their extended families except for church.  The expected behaviors for many of these women were to be submissive and dependent.  WW II changed all that.  All the adult women in my family worked in war industry jobs at Kaiser Aluminum and all adult men went away to build airfields or army posts or navy stations or to fight in the war.  Only farming men stayed home and they tried very hard to keep the women of the family in line.  Something happens when a woman has her own paycheck and her husband is thousands of miles away.  When men returned after the war, men wanted to step back into the dominant role and our family’s women refused.

Third, the generation of women before mine were trained in nursing or teaching but were not allowed to work outside their homes and families.  My mother’s generation broke down many barriers, including thinking for themselves about god and faith and beliefs.  ”How do I submit to my husband when he beats me?” my mother asked our minister when I was about four years old.  Her mother would never have asked that question.  You may recall that I wrote earlier about our minister’s replies:  ”do not rile your husband to wrath; love him to the lord; submit.”  It was my minister who answered my question by stating, “When you are beaten you are living your life in imitation of the crucified Christ, of all women you are most blessed; rejoice in your crucifixion.”  My minister was the U.S.A. Senate Chaplain in Washington, D.C. and his huge church membership included Senators, Representatives, Supreme Court Judges, and lots of very influential people. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_C._Halverson.

Fourth, women pay a terrible price for even thinking about atheism.  The pressure by my family was horrendous.  They called me names, accused me of terrible things, cut me out of family activities. The high price emotionally, mentally and physically was worth the consequences.  To think for oneself, to gather information and ideas, to look at alternatives, to experiment and explore, to pay attention to the outcomes, both while experimenting and when coming down on some personal choice gives me, not only confidence but courage.  I am not afraid of disagreement … I always benefit by the exercise.  I am very afraid of the threats and accusations that lead me no where except afraid.  The fear transforms in to courage as I move farther along the path of self-responsibility.  I think that is the seed May Arkwright Hutton planted in me.  


The text of this bill (page 16) would allow the sperm donor to sue the uterus bearer. As if this won’t be used by abusers to further harass and intimidate and abuse their target. Potentially, a woman could have her birth control sabotaged by an abusive boyfriend, get pregnant (which statistically leads to increased abuse), seek an abortion, and have the abuser sue her in retribution by claiming she’s doing it because the fetus will be black.

Among other nightmare scenarios.

If a child hitting a classmate is wrong, if an adult hitting another is jail time, then how can we morally justify a large human being striking out against a tiny human being? To all those who say “I turned out okay”, if you cannot break yourself of a violent parenting style for your own children, you did not turn out okay. I am damaged by my upbringing, as much love and affection my parents gave me, their best efforts were sadly misdirected and I was hit well into my teens. As a result, I struggle against impulse and have to remove myself from situations. I accept responsibility for my choices, but I want the cycle of violence to end in our generation. No more excuses for physical bullying masquerading as loving discipline.

[Warning: rape and abuse] Rogi took part in a fundraiser for homeless people yesterday, where another volunteer made inappropriate comments about people like her. She’s a real person living a real life with real joys and real pains, and then some asshat with a camera and a microphone thinks he can turn it all into one big sex joke? Disgusting how some people seek to detach themselves from their humanity. “But it’s okay! It’s for charity!” Hell no, we either altogether build a future full of dignity and respect, or our efforts are BULLSHIT.

Vlog: Survival “Sex” (by rriverstone1)

I have occasionally run into people who are preoccupied with narcissism/sociopathy. They insist that they can spot the tell-tale signs a mile away, and that the only acceptable response is to turn the diagnosed into a pariah.

I have several problems with this. For one, it reinforces the concept of sane privilege, which sets people who struggle with mental health as inferior to those with a mental health status accepted by society as “normal”. It also introduces the idea that laypersons should be airmchair diagnosing other members of society with mental illness, under the guise of self-preservation. Perhaps there could be a point on the side of such people if mental illness actually were associated with increased rates of abusive behavior, but the facts simply don’t support such an assertion.

The end result of this sort of false correlation is a mental illness stigma on those who would seek help. This not only discourages people from getting help who need it, lest they be labeled as a dangerous person; it also diverts mental health resources away from those who don’t fit our stereotypes of someone who needs help, when “needs help” is actually code for “is dangerous”.