I particularly struggle with conversational issues (second item). I feel like if I don’t say things while I’m thinking about them, I may never be able to retrieve that thought again. Also, I have the problem of frequently forgetting what I was doing and sometimes even where I am. I am tasked with answering the phones at work, and every time, like a charm, it takes me several minutes to recall what I was doing before I was interrupted. Sometimes I get so confused I have to go to the bathroom for 5 minutes in hopes of rebooting my thought processes. After 8 hours of that, I have so very little processing power left that even figuring out what I want to eat when I get home is exhausting.
I know some people are interested in what having ADD means as an adult and all that so I thought I would talk about some problems I’ve been having lately, which helps describe what it is, and what it does. ADD isn’t getting distracted by a squirrel in the middle of a conversation. It isn’t struggling to be able to stay sitting down in class. It isn’t a simple willpower thing- it is a chemical imbalance.
- It is being so distracted by the simple noises around you while reading that you want to plug your ears in the middle of the day.
- It is having trouble waiting till the end of a part of a conversation because you know you might forget that thought and accidentally blurting things out and interrupting others, and then feeling bad about it.
- It is going to work half an hour late because, even though you knew what time you were supposed to work, you switched it around in your head an hour before hand. Even though you wrote it on both calenders. Even though you talked to multiple people about it.
- It is being overwhelmed by the necessity to do simple tasks.
- It is feeling so overwhelmed by the multiple stimuli while driving that you have to pull over for a few minutes to calm down.
- It is not being able to get words straight when you speak them, even if you have rehearsed them in your mind or on paper.
- It is getting so stuck in a certain task, hyperfocusing on a certain task that everything, including everything else important in life- even at that moment- seems trivial and distant.
Anyway. That’s what I’m struggling with at the moment. No negativity, just something I have to work on by making sure I get enough sleep and don’t trigger it though being sleep deprived, stressed or overworked. I might start taking my ADD medication again. I think it might help me control a bit of this.
I wish I had meds.