Nerd is my Gender
What's yours?
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Women Subject to Objectifying Gazes Show Decreased Math Ability
Women who are looked at as sexual objects not only react as sexual objects, they also exhibit less proficiency with math, according to a new study published in the March 2011 issue of the journal Psychology of Women Quarterly.
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The paradigm of “women trade sex to men for affection / favors / security / etc.” is an extremely dangerous one. Because it posits that women never really want sex, it makes the bright line of “no, this time I really don’t want it” fuzzy, as if this were merely a breakdown in the bargaining process. It makes women seem unreasonable or even greedy for refusing sex when they’ve been properly “compensated” (see also: PUA culture) and makes men feel that sex with a woman who doesn’t want sex isn’t fundamentally abnormal. And this is why being extremely public about being an extremely horny woman is fighting rape.
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Spinster Aunt bans dudes from I Blame the Patriarchy
It’s her safe space, she can do what she wants, I get it. But as a qenderqueer person, I have to wonder exactly where the line is drawn. What if a nonbinary person uses “he/him” pronouns? What if a trans* person acts too masculine, or mentions birth-assignment as being anything too male? She says people can bypass the sex restrictions by going incognito, but I lived 23 years of my life cleverly disguised as a girl, and I’m not about to be forced back into that broken mold!
Damn, that’s problematic. VERY problematic. It is her space, and as such she is entitled to make her own rules - but that doesn’t stop those rules being problematic. Right. The rule works in a binary, cis, normative world. But we don’t live in one of those. What happens to CAMAB/MAAB women? In the comments it is mentioned that ‘MTFs’ (broken terminology alert, broken terminology alert) are okay to comment, but are trans women likely to if they read on and find another commenter remarking that ‘“transwomen” are men’ with no dissent? If they mention their experiences of being thought to be a man, do they get banned? What happens to CAFAB/FAAB men? Are they allowed to comment by virtue of having been born with vaginas and if not are their experiences to be silenced? What about non-binary folks of all stripes? Are we allowed to comment at all? Does our commenting ability depend on our genitalia? And how the hell do you police whether someone is a man or not over the internet? Nothing is innately male or innately female or innately anything else.
And frankly, men, even cis, straight, normative men, do have shit to blame the patriarchy for. They’re massively privileged in many ways by it, but that doesn’t mean they have no right to blame it. We all do. Those of all assigned sexes/genders. Of all genders/non-genders. Of all genital configurations. The patriarchy screws all of us. Some more than others, but all are messed up. Yes, I too have come across men who mansplain stuff. It’s not good. And the way cis males especially are socialised, they’re always going to have to be on the lookout for a tendency to do that, since male privilege does exist and does make a massive difference. But that doesn’t justify making a snap judgement of an entire large portion of the population with boundaries that are unclear and erasive.
So yes. Cissexism. Binarism. Normativity. Identity policing. STFU & EYDS. Ban mansplainers and privilege deniers by all means, but don’t do it by banning people by gender.
Submitted by andythenerd. Thank you!
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Pepsi to Release New "Skinny Can"
[Trigger warning for tacit fat hatred and body policing.]
Pepsi to release new ‘skinny can’:Can a soda can be sassy? Pepsi thinks so.
Diet Pepsi will soon be available in a “taller, sassier new Skinny Can” that the company says is a “celebration of beautiful, confident women.”
The new can — which stands just more than six inches in height — will make its debut at New York’s Fall 2011 fashion week later this month, but it won’t hit stores until March.
“Our slim, attractive new can is the perfect complement to today’s most stylish looks,” said Jill Beraud, chief marketing officer at Pepsi (PEP, Fortune 500). “We’re excited to throw its coming-out party, during the biggest celebration of innovative design in the world.”
…For consumers who prefer their soda cans to be the traditional short and fat product — no need to worry. A Pepsi spokeswoman confirmed the old model will remain on shelves.Just LOL.
I love the way this works: Now that there’s a taller and thinner can, the traditional can becomes the “short and fat” model. FAT MATH!…
Celebration of beautiful women… right… More like celebration of phallic imagery! :P
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Overcoming Sexism in the Freethought Community
I’m surprised that we still have problems like this. But then, maybe I should be surprised that I’m surprised. Here’s an excerpt:
Why don’t we see more women in our groups? Maybe because when Jen McCreight showed up to an atheist meeting, guys in the group stood around comparing her to her photos from Boobquake. Why don’t we see more young people? Maybe because when a new parent shows up to a group event, other members make rude comments to her face about how her child is disrupting the meeting. Why are we so overwhelmingly Caucasian? Maybe because a black person shows up and hears a bunch of racial jokes.
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Be a leader. Take responsibility for the tone of your group. If potential new members are being made to feel uncomfortable and aren’t coming back, you’re doing it wrong. As a leader, it is your job to prioritize the comfort of your attendees in programs, group dynamics, and communications. Try to put yourself in other members’ shoes and also ask for feedback.
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Promote a sense of community. Take the time to socialize and get to know each other. If you’re group isn’t primarily a social group, thinking about adding some social time. Go to breakfast before the protest, compose your letters to the editor over coffee, or grab a pizza and beer after that lecture. When you know each other, you have each others backs. Being a jerk isn’t tolerated.
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Moderate discussions. Make sure everyone has the opportunity to participate- new people, quiet people, etc. Don’t let conversation be dominated by one or two people who must “win.”
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Embrace and accept different ways of communicating. Whether someone is an aggressive debater or not, make sure they’re still welcome. The other atheist in the room isn’t your enemy.
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Encourage subgroups. Every event your group hosts doesn’t need to appeal to your entire membership. Many women appreciate women-only space to express their nonbelief and to connect with other atheist women. Here at the Humanist Community of Central Ohio, we started a subgroup book club called Reasonable Women. When it grew to have about 25 regular members and was beginning to be a little too large and unwieldy to function as a book club, we created a second group, Heathen Chicks, which is just a social group that meets at a local cafe. It isn’t just about creating women only space, for us, this has been a way to draw more women into other events our group hosts.
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Foster women in leadership. Groups with women in leadership positions tend to have more women. Encourage women in your group to be visible in leadership.
Why don’t we see more action to support equal inclusion of all genders?
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Do not call me cisgender. You have no right or authority to name me without my consent.
Cisgender is a word used by persons who have decided to name me without my permission.
Cisgender is not a name or identity that females, women as a class, have chosen for ourselves.
It does not come from us, as its origins are from a trans perspective, a person said to be a man, created by trans persons and used to name females/women as a class. Women have not agreed to be named by others, as has been done to us through history, being named, identified and defined by others.
You do not get to name me without my permission.
Do not call me cisgender. That is offensive to me. I am offended that you consider that you have power over me, and can name me.
Cisgender is an epithet, abusive, contemptuous and expresses hostility towards me.
I name myself. The names and words I use include female, woman, her, she, wimmin, womon, womyn. You have permission to use those words when addressing or referring to me.
You do not have the permission to call me names you have created for me, against my will and demand that I own them as mine.
Do not call me cisgender. That is your word, not mine.
Uppity Biscuit http://uppitybiscuit.wordpress.com/2007/01/19/do-not-call-me-cisgender-you-do-not-have-my-permission-to-name-me/ (via thefeministhermit)
Oh, so you’re trans*? Because you’re either cis or trans. You’re either the same gender that was assigned to you at birth or you’re not. I’m not going to tell you for you which you are, but you can’t act like one is superior to the other, or that one is degrading or the other egotistic. And you most certainly can’t act like “woman” and “cis” or “woman” and “trans” are mutually exclusive pairings. You want to see the end of cis/trans? End the practice of gender assignment at birth. Stop raising little kids to be girls and boys based on how they look. But you won’t do that, will you?
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How to be a Gender-Inclusive Freethinker
Go to enough atheist websites and meetup events, and you’ll notice something: there sure are a lot of men! Now people are people, don’t get me wrong - atheism isn’t a “male thing” or a “female thing”. Making efforts to include other genders* shouldn’t be at the exclusion of making men feel welcome too. On the contrary, the more women we bring into the atheist community, the more people we’ll have altogether, and the stronger the community will grow. Everyone wins!
I read a very insightful list about how to encourage women in Linux. I invite you to read the original, but I’m creating a similar list for atheists. This is mostly written to a male audience, but it’s very applicable everyone. Hopefully many of you will find this helpful.*The original post was directed toward woman involvement, but genderqueer people often feel left out as well.
List not in order of importance - each point is an equal part of the whole.
Don’t tell sexist jokes. Most men I know would say they don’t do this. Some of them don’t, but some of them only think they don’t. Ask yourself: if the genders were different in this joke, would it still be funny? If so, then reverse the genders in your joke, and then tell it - it should still be funny. If not, then you probably should scratch it off your list.
Do protest sexist jokes. If you hear a joke that doesn’t pass the “gender reversal” test, call them out. Yes, people will say you’re just being sensitive or a spoil-sport. They’ll get over it.
Don’t call people bitches. People do overhear how you talk about women and other genders, and it affects their involvement in the group.
Do show some respect. The cliche advice is to treat every woman as if she were your sister/mother/daughter/grandmother. Again, women do overhear - if you treat everyone with respect, man and woman, she’ll have no cause to stay away.
Don’t take the “microphone” away. If someone is trying to find her place in the group, or is asking questions or feeling confused about something, don’t take over for her. Society already sends enough messages to women that they aren’t competent enough to do things for themselves. By avoiding this, you’ll be making a positive impact on her decision to keep getting more involved.
Do give directions and explain them clearly. This shows that se is worth your patience, and that you respect her intelligence. It will also empower her to have the tools she needs the next time around, so she’ll be less likely to need anyone’s help.
Don’t make sexual advances. Imagine if you were to walk into a house of worship while wearing an anti-religious t-shirt. You’d feel like you constantly have to defend yourself at every turn. That’s no way to relax and feel comfortable and accepted. Women often feel the same way when men make sexual advances: they suddenly have to be on the defense at a time when they’re trying to open themselves up to connecting with the community.
Do act friendly. Most men and women like to have friends of any gender. Being friendly is a great first step to validating their humanity.
Don’t whine about the lack of women in atheism. This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t bring the topic up. But don’t complain about it: don’t whine, don’t lament, don’t talk about how inconvenienced you are by the gender gap. Women aren’t going to join as a personal favor to you, they need to do it for themselves. Plus, it makes the women who are already there feel like you’re expecting them to meet your personal needs somehow, or that they’re being overlooked completely.
Do encourage gender diversity in atheism. Everyone likes some support now and then. :)
Don’t stare when people who look different from you arrive. They already feel a bit out of place, this only serves to solidify that feeling.
Do treat new arrivals politely. Smile and greet them. This sends the message that not only do they not stick out, but you’ve been expecting them!
Don’t treat women stereotypically. They’re just as diverse as men are in their interests and attitudes. You won’t know what they’re really about till you get to know one. Also, avoid treating genderqueer people as if they’re men or women.
Do treat women as normal people.
Don’t criticize too much. In a world where far too often women are told that they’re less competent than men are in male-dominated fields, criticism is less likely to be appreciated at face value. This isn’t to say that you can’t ever disagree with her. Only try not to make it a challenge of your superiority verses hers.
Do compliment. Don’t invent things to compliment, but try to see the good things people are doing, and show that you notice them. If people go without validation for long enough, they’re liable to think nobody cares and simply give up.
Don’t invite only male speakers. This is a HUGE issue, one I really ought to place at the top of the list, except that it applies to only 1% of readers who organize events. When you have 9 male speakers and only 1 woman speaker (or worse, none), you’re sending out the message that “Atheism is for men.” The rest of us would do well to hammer this point to event hosts at every opportunity until we see results.
Do ask women to speak. Don’t say you can only find men - that means you’re not looking hard enough. At the very least, you could find a few people from within your local community to each give a short 10-minute presentation or story. This also shows that you care about the grassroots, not just the most popular names in atheism.
Don’t make your meeting hard to attend. Women are more likely in our society to be the primary caretaker of young children. This need must be addressed if you want women to feel included. The issue of child care cannot be ignored. If at all possible, find a way to incorporate children (what better way to influence our future generation?). Also, make sure you’re not picking too many male-dominated locations, such as sports bars.
Do make meetings easy to attend. When in doubt, ask your members what works best for most. Be sure to vary times and places if possible, so that those who work evenings and weekends will still be able to make it to the occasional morning event.
Don’t make new people feel unwelcome. They don’t know what to expect, so they’ll likely sit along the outside and talk very little. That can make them seem uninterested, but more likely it’s newness.
Do help new people get involved. Tell them about all the different ways they can find their niche, and guide them into it. Help them find a reason to get motivated, and the community will grow.
Don’t underestimate girlfriends or wives. Don’t assume that the girlfriend/wife is only coming to meetings because her man is there. She’s not an accessory.
Do treat girlfriends and wives as independent people. She’s here because she wants to be. She’s not just a Mrs. Atheist. She has her own ideas and expectations, and her own desires to fit in. Respect that she’s her own person by asking her questions even if her boyfriend/husband has already given his opinion on the same topic.
Anything you’d like to add? -
HPV vaccination. PAP smears. Cancer screenings. Condoms, STI testing, education, UTI treatment, the first stop to getting that niggling pain in your cervix diagnosed, a way to be safe with your partner after your parents threw you out of the house.
Counselors. Rape prevention and recovery. Prenatal care, infant checkups. Referrals to high-risk gynecologists, birthing centers, doulas.
Activism. Protests. Petitions, phone banks, donation drives.
Planned Parenthood saved me, and they have saved others like me.
To say that they just want to prevent abortions is to stick their head in the sand and yell “LALALALALALALA I DON’T HEAR YOU” over the sound of millions of patients standing up and saying “NO.”
Doing something against our wills, despite us saying “no.” Doesn’t that sounds familiar?
Kaie’s response to hearing that the House voted to defund Planned Parenthood. Help us defend our rights: http://www.plannedparenthoodaction.org/ -
the codes of gender
Amazing video! You will be so glad you watched it.
consider this possibly the most informative 45 minutes of your life.
http://www.freespeech.org/video/codes-gender
[you’re welcome]
Submitted by conquermaps
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Rejection of Religion: What's the difference between humanism and feminism?
(Not trying to insult feminists)
Many feminists I see aren’t even fighting for feminine superiority. They just want fucking equal treatment. How the hell does that make them a feminist. In my mind, a feminist wants women to be on top (of society. lol). A feminist feels dominance over men.
“Not trying to insult feminists”, eh? Let me explain this in a way you can appreciate. Saying feminism is about women feeling dominance over men is like saying humanism is about worshiping the self as a god. It sounds stupid when people make uneducated statements about humanism, right? Yeah…
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What is feminism according to you?
If Feminism is for equal rights, then why call yourself feminist? Be a humanist. Don't just care for your group's rights, care for everyone's rights.Asked by anticapitalist
DEAR GOD WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE HUMANISTS!
…oh wait, I am a humanist. And though I’m a feminist, I’m not a woman, so it’s not “my group”.
Educate your damn self.
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Gender Policing in Atheism
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Joe:
Is their some weird thing going on in atheist circles with the word ‘female’? I’ve been reading a couple of blogs and apparently someone on a panel used the word ‘female’ to describe…um…females and ONE WOMAN stands up and protests the use of ‘female’ as dehumanization. And when a man on the panel calls this absurd claim well, absurd, he got accused of being dismissive of ALLLLLLLL Women and a symbol of sexism in the atheist community. I’m sorry; getting bogged down in the use of word ‘female’ should be dismissed. There are unquestionably sexist atheists but I don’t see how that is reflected in the use of a word that the vast majority of people use with no cruel intent.
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Andy (me):
It really depends on the usage. Like, it also bothers me when people use "girls" and "men" together. This is most common in pop music (like "you be my girl and i'll be your man"), but sometimes people do it in real life too. If people are saying "females" for women but "men" for men, then we have a problem. If people are saying "females" and "males" like they do in the military, then it's all even.
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Joe:
Then it's the context, not the word. The complaints appear to be about the word itself and the reaction to the woman who claimed offense.
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Andy:
I haven't heard it. Maybe I'm too out of the loop here.
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Joe:
I wouldn't have brought it up but it has been mentioned on a couple of atheist sites. And let me be clear. That woman has every right to take offense but I also have every right to weigh what she's saying and call it stupid.
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Keith:
As I got older I began to understand what was behind 'womyn' and the dislike for the word 'female'. But also came to view it as going a little far in trying to right perceived social wrongs as opposed to actual social wrongs. Do keep in mind though, that no one has made any effort at explaining to me why using 'woman' or 'female' is wrong. Seems every time I have asked a woman who has issues with either term, all I got in response was "You're a sexist/fascist if you don't know!" I also hate it when someone uses 'girl' to describe and adult woman or 'girls' for a group of women.
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Joe:
It is a little troubling that this post appears to only have dudes responding.
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Asia:
Apparently, you're unaware that Andy isn't a dude....
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Paul:
There are more male head's of state then female heads of state. There are more male CEO's then there are female CEO's. Until that becomes equal then men have no right to claim sexism.
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Amber:
I *heart* Paul.
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Laura:
The conversation must have set off some kind of trigger for her. Sometimes even rational people go rabid when certain buttons are pushed. It really depends on the context, like Andy said. Girl/boy, man/woman, female/male....all equivalent when paired like that but maybe a little offensive when mixed. I have seen so called feminists call grown men boys. Using patronizing speech is really off-putting no matter which gender it's aimed towards.
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Andy:
I'll call my boyfriend "boy" when I'm trying to sound insulting, but only for jokes and stuff, because it really is degrading to call a grown adult by children's terminology.
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Jude:
I'm not offended by the word "female" as long as it's used as a correlate of "male" but I do think part of the problem with "female" might be old connotations from cultural folklore, like "the female of the species (is deadlier than the male)" and other usages that seem more oriented to taxonomy than to human beings.
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Bridget:
I'm still trying to understand why she became upset over the word female.
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Kenneth:
I like females. That's right I said it. I said I like females. Sometimes I want to have sex with them. Sometimes I like very feminine females.If a female don't like that then we don't have to have sex at all. If she wants to get an attitude about it I don't even have to like her at all. I might not even qualify her as being a female.We can fight about it if she wants. but we will have to fight in the nude.
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Andy:
Weird, I could have sworn I just heard someone say something completely irrelevant. Must have been the wind.
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Joe:
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Another page from “The Riot’s Great Big Patriarchy-Smashing Activity Book!” NOW WITH MORE CORRECT SPELLING!
Free to take.
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We see you trollin’, we hatin’…
Jesus tapdancing christ
HOLY SHIT WHAT
don’t even have to comment on this one. it’s all right here man.
welp
oh tumblr
>self-loathing women who impersonate male supremacy
Well, I don’t believe I am self-loathing in the least.
Hell, I like myself.
AS A BOY.
Wow, it must be a hard job blocking about 95% of Tumblr-Accounts.
She should use her time better and get back to the kitchen. Those sandwiches are not going to make themseves.This is why we ALL need to follow her - the more time she spends doing her private investigation, the less time she spends being a bigot. :D
(Source: confusedtree)
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Dear "friend" who made a rape joke
Dear faceboook/twitter/tumblr “friend” who made a rape joke,
I was raped.
Yes, YOU have a friend who was RAPED. Chances are I’m not the only person you know who has been sexually abused. There’s a good chance many people in your life have been sexually abused and have not mentioned anything…
Genderqueer with a touch of happy humanism.
