Nerd is my Gender

For non-binary folks, every little action is used to prove that we’re actually binary – because everything is gendered one way or another, in our highly binary society. And they expect us to provide them with a perfect blend of gendered traits, or they say, no, you’re actually binary and you’re in denial, LOOK, you did THIS, that’s so BINARY.

JKBC of Anger is Justified in a post about cissexist gender policing.

The sad thing is, that second part? I do it to myself, kind of. I look at how I’m dressed for the day, how I’m walking and sitting and standing, the patterns of my behaviors over the previous few days — and wonder whether if it’s too masculine? Too feminine*? Too whatever??

The even sadder thing is, I’m not even officially out in meatspace. And although I am personally fond of a certain element of androgyny that can and does throw binarist people off, as soon as they hear my voice or see my legal name, that reprieve is over.

^{*Femininity being marked creates a whole other set of issues.}

(via anlamasanda)

…

Yes, yes, what everyone has said, yes!

It’s true, I’ll never have a perfect blend. I can’t, I live in a binary world full of binary filters over our eyes. On top of that, I act as a binary at my workplace, so I’m occasionally forgetting where I am and what’s expected of me. Sometimes I catch myself in “work mode” at home. Even worse, so do my friends, and they point that out in “gotcha” mode, or else complain about how I’m too confusing and it’s too much of a burden for them to keep up.

Try living half your life in the closet and the other half as a freak and see how easy it is to maintain perfection.

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To All Those Brave Tran***s Out There

thesemyknickers:

I just fookin’ loove ya’!

Listen, having the courage and strength to strive for what you believe in is beautiful. You people are honestly the bravest I’ve ever met. Sure, we all suffer from bullying just because we identify as gay/lesbian/bisexual/pansexual/etc. but trans-gendered people have the fucking balls to say “Fuck that shit. I just want to be a guy/girl!”. I don’t know how you guys and gals do it. The amazing top surgery pictures put a smile to my face. Reading awfully sad stories about how families reject make me cry. Everything you do is a nice big “SUCK IT!” to gender stereotypes. None of you should ever feel that you’re wrong. It’s all about making sure you are who you are. If your born in the wrong body, you deserve to alter yourself in order to define exactly who you are. If I could personally meet every single one of you when your suffering and just give you a massive hug, I would. You inspire me. You are the greatest out there. And I just wanted to spend some time appreciating you. Fuck, just…yeah.

The first time someone ever said she thought me courageous, I was confused. I’m not brave, I’m not even out at work. In fact, I held off telling my friends for years because I was afraid to face my gender. I simply came to a place where if I didn’t accept myself as being genderqueer, I’d have a breakdown: unable to function, perhaps even unable to live.

I don’t think I’m inspiring at all, really, but thanks for the support. Now do me a favor and call Congress to demand employment protection for gender identity. ;)

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10
Feb 23

Trans* Pun

Andy (me):
I can't get out of this binder.
Ben:
It's a boobie trap!

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We see you trollin’, we hatin’…

bloodyspook:

chotpot:

grannysgonna:

facelesshorror:

monsters-are-not-real:

gamzee:

joshishollywood:

Jesus tapdancing christ

HOLY SHIT WHAT

don’t even have to comment on this one. it’s all right here man.

welp

oh tumblr

>self-loathing women who impersonate male supremacy

Well, I don’t believe I am self-loathing in the least.

Hell, I like myself.

AS A BOY.

Wow, it must be a hard job blocking about 95% of Tumblr-Accounts.
She should use her time better and get back to the kitchen. Those sandwiches are not going to make themseves.

This is why we ALL need to follow her - the more time she spends doing her private investigation, the less time she spends being a bigot. :D

(Source: confusedtree)

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Bad Parsi Queer: Here's the problem with cookies

badparsiqueer:

Okay, there’s been a lot of talk in regards to this “retrain cis people with positive reinforcement” thing about why it is not actually something trans* people need to do. But here’s another way of looking at it, and it’s fucking important.

The phrase “asking for cookies” comes up a lot in conversations like this. It’s a way of thinking of praise like a cookie, and whenever someone does anything slightly good, they ask for a cookie. Sometimes people ask for cookies even when they’ve done fuck all. (“I said that not all trans* people were fakers or mentally-ill! Where’s my cookie?”)

What this idea of positive reenforcement is asking is that trans* people give out cookies for the recognition that they are people whose rights should be respected. That if we give out enough cookies and back-pats, maybe people will start treating us like people and not like the scum they’ve scraped off the bottom of their shoes! That would be great!

Except that that is deeply fucked up. Because people shouldn’t do this for the thanks, or for the positive reenforcement, or the cookies. They should do it because they see us as people.

Click link for more…

I totally get the sentiments here, nobody should have to give out cookies. But… sometimes I like giving out cookies. I want to say “hey, you make me happy”. Every time I imagine a world where people only give out negative reinforcement and avoid giving out positive reinforcement because they shouldn’t have to, it’s so depressing. Who wants to live like that? Course, I’ll smack down anyone who goes around asking me for cookies, cuz damn it, they’re my cookies to give out. ;)

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10
Feb 25

T-Friendly Bathroom Initiative in Chicago

GenderQueer Chicago has launched an initiative to have friendly Chicago businesses identify themselves to trans customers. Talk about turning the bathroom meme on its head. It’s positive, it’s proactive, it puts the lie to the bathroom meme…I think I like this idea! What say you, transfolk?

CHICAGO- In an unprecedented effort to make the city of Chicago safer for transgender individuals, local youth organizers have launched the “T-Friendly Bathroom Initiative,” a grassroots community project that challenges business owners to protect gender identity in their public restrooms.
In 2011, more than 500 businesses and organizations will be asked to sign a pledge that commits them to allowing gender-variant customers to use the bathroom of their choice. Businesses that sign the pledge will be awarded a window decal, so that gender-variant people can easily identify trans-friendly businesses.

“We expect this will dramatically improve the way transgender people experience our city and state” said Kate Sosin, Co-Founder of Genderqueer Chicago and a project organizer. “We want business owners to understand that under the Illinois Human Rights Act, it is not just their right to protect transgender people in bathrooms, it is their duty.”

Gender identity and expression is protected under the Illinois Human Rights Act, but everyday, countless transgender people are harassed in public restrooms for not “passing” as male or female. This policing often results in violence against gender-variant people. It can also mean health complications for those who are not allowed regular access to bathrooms.

“This project is a critical reminder that trans folk can empower themselves to achieve something positive,” said fellow organizer, Christina Kahrl of Equality Illinois. “What we’re getting to do here is change the dynamic, so that we don’t just limit ourselves to protesting against those businesses and organizations who wrong trans folk.”

…

Go Chicago! Maybe next we can get St Louis to step up to the plate?

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This is anti-trans hate, anti-queer hate, anti-woman hate… detecting a pattern here? You want to stop hate crimes and stop bullying? STOP HATE.

[Image is split-screen; on the left is Justin Bieber, on the right is Justin’s image with makeup and long hair added.]

For those of you completely out of the loop, you can educate yourself on the “Justin Bieber is really a girl” meme at your own risk here: http://www.justinbiebergirl.com/

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STFU Binarists: Questionnaires are asking for it!

So the other day we did a maths paper in class. When we were marking it, the teacher got really worked up about this one question. The question was “Sally is making a questionnaire for the people who enter her shop. Two of the questions are “What is your gender?” and “*something else which I don’t remember*”. Design a suitable question format.” For the gender one, the expected format was “Male [ ] Female [ ]”. Tickboxes. One of my friends included “Other [ ]” and I went the whole shebang and put “Other [ ] None [ ]”.

He raved on for about five minutes about how we can’t do that, and how everybody is either male or female. I put my hand up and (politely) asked “But aren’t questionnaires supposed to allow for all possible data? Female and male don’t.” He then went on to say that it was a silly thing to do, since you’re either male or female, you can’t be neither/both/other. I was. SO. MAD. AHHHH. STFU and EYDS binarists!

I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but your teacher sounds like a total douchebag. Those questions are absolutely bloody awful anyway, and to go compounding the shititude with five minute rants on it that are actually FACTUALLY INCORRECT is just plain not on.

Congratulations, Teacher! Your shitness is now commemorated across the internet on a blog called STFU Binarists, which will now proceed to utterly demolish you! Have a plutonium biscuit!

1. Gender =/= sex. If the question says ‘gender,’ your answers cannot be ‘male/female’. If the question says ‘gender,’ you need a fucking open text box for people to write the proper answer, because not everyone is a man or a woman! And no-one besides the person themself can know their own gender! (Those, by the way, teacher, are genders. Specifically, thebinary genders. And, as always, since the world is not black and white, there is plenty outside of them.)

2. Sex is a broken system. We don’t know where each end of our binary begins and ends, the word originally meant gender, and sex itself is merely a collection of symptoms generalised to a population where they are not universally applicable. So male/female isn’t an immutable binary either. One, the clusters of symptoms associated with each are so non-universal that 1/100 people are intersex (ISNA), and they deserve recognition. Two, the medical system is being damn inaccurate by trying to use the words ‘male’ and ‘female’ as shorthand. And three, a male body is one belonging to a male. We all have the right to name our bodies in accordance with our selves.

3. THIS WHOLE EPISODE IS INCREDIBLY FUCKING UNPROFESSIONAL.

4. STOP FUCKING ERASING, DEMEANING, IGNORING, DEVALUING, HURTING AND DISRESPECTING US.

5. We’re not doing anything to harm you, teacher. Oh noes, you might have to include an extra couple of tick boxes or *gasp* use an open data field!! The HORROR!! The world is going to DIE RIGHT NOW if your precious little binary is not RIGIDLY UPHELD at the cost of ACCURACY and HUMAN DECENCY!!!! [do people really believe that kind of thing??]

You reacted really well, I must say, comrade(and I congratulate your friend). Politeness in that kind of situation is hard, and to use the teacher’s own lessons against him was a very good approach. Shame the guy had nailed his mind closed.

STFU & EYDS, Binarist teacher, and GTFO of the classroom! You’re harming our kids and your own.

But don’t you see? If we use a text field instead of a check box, COMPUTERS ASPLODE!

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Don’t do this. Don’t do this. Don’t do this.

I’ll let CisCentrismSucks elaborate as to why:

ciscentrismsucks:

Whoa, whoa, hold the phone. Are you a cis person answering a question about transgender people? If you are, you need to take a fucking step back and redirect this question to someone who knows what they are talking about, because you clearly do not.

First of all, don’t you dare, don’t you fucking dare ”technically” me this or “biologically” me that. If someone considers themselves female, they are female. If someone considers themselves male, they are male. You do not get to decide someone’s gender based on their hormone levels or what is between their legs, ok? You just fucking don’t.

If your friend considers themselves female until they start to physically transition, that’s fine. That’s their call. But guess what? Not every transgender person is the same. You do not get to say “all pre-op transgender people are their assigned gender” just because you have one friend who says that it’s ok for them.

And just where the fuck do you get off dictating who falls into the binary and who doesn’t? “In a way [transitioned people] do fall out of the gender binary”? Um, no, let me fix that for you: Anyone who identifies outside the gender binary is outside the gender binary. Anyone who identifies with the gender binary is of the binary. Is that clear enough for you?

Bottom line: cis people need to stop answering questions about trans* people. If someone comes to you, cis bloggers, asking for information on trans* people, tell them to go ask a trans* person (who has expressed willingness to answer such questions) or better yet to go fucking google it because chances are their question has been answered before by someone who knows what they are talking about.

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2
Mar 3

StraightQueer: What Being Femme Means to Me

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1
Mar 3

S.A.G.E. Test

Your Raw Score is: -345, which indicates that overall you are Androgynous

Your appearance is Feminine

Your brain processes are mostly that of a Male person.

You appear to socialize in a androgynous manner.

You believe you have mild conflicts about your gender identity.

You indicated your were born Female.

ANALYSIS: Female to Male possible Transsexual

NOTES: Your Answers indicate your psychological state has likely prevailed since you were quite young.

…

This is accurate for me. Try it out yourself! (Note: don’t click any of the images that tell you to click them, it will reset the test.)

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i’m just really tired.

silverfuck:

emilyswash:

if you are cis: try, for one day, to take notice every single time someone uses a gendered pronoun or word to describe you. you will be amazed how many times it happens. i’m not asking you to imagine how it would feel it it were wrong, just to see how impossible it is to avoid.

TRY IN THIS SPANISH, I DARE YOU. THERE’S GENDER IN EVERYTHING. 99% OF ADJECTIVES HAVE GENDER. YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW.

I would be so sad if I used a language with gendered adjectives. What do you do when the system is broken beyond repair? :(

(Source: nuditea)

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2
Mar 4

Hormone and chromosome research, attempts to develop new means of human reproduction (life created in, or considerably supported by, the scientist’s laboratory), work with transsexuals, and studies of formation of gender identity in children provide basic information which challenges the notion that there are two discrete biological sexes. That information threatens to transform the traditional biology of sex difference into the radical biology of sex similarity. That is not to say there is one sex, but that there are many. The evidence which is germane here is simple. The words “male” and “female,” “man” and “woman,” are used only because as yet there are no others.

Radical feminists, embrace your trans kin. :)

(Source: womanist-musings.com)

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14
Mar 6

Why I’m OK with “Transgendered”

Disclaimer: I only speak for myself here.

I’m transgender. I’m also transgendered. If I wasn’t, I’d be cisgendered.

Some people consider the -ed to be offensive, as if it’s something that happens to us against our agency. Like “the strangest thing happened this morning: I woke up, looked in the mirror, and saw that someone had transgendered me in my sleep!”

But you know what? Trans is something that happens to us. Cis is something that happens to us. Trans and cis are what happens when society genders us at birth without our consent.

Sometimes they get it right, and hooray, we get to live a charmed life of cis privilege! Sometimes they don’t, and then they get all defensive when we point that out, and thus begins a lifelong battle to correct the situation.

So yeah, when in doubt as to which is acceptable, ask first. But don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine with a little -ed in my life.

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Ciscentrism SUCKS!

gamzee:

when you’re trans you pretty much can’t win

trans guy dates a girl, he’s just “a super butch lesbian”

trans guy dates a guy, he’s just “a faghag fangirl gone too far”

trans girl dates a girl, she’s just “a dude who wants in on the lesbian fantasy”

trans girl dates a guy, she’s just “a gay man who wants to prey on straight guys”

and if either partner is genderqueer, why then you’re both just attention whores and trying to be special snowflakes!!!

notice though that usually the trans girl is treated like a predator and the trans guy is treated like a harmless but confused little lady

both suck BAD but this is why trans girls are the victims of violent crimes more often, they’re seen as deceptive rapists instead of as people

because it’s Totally Reasonable to think that someone would lose their friends and family and undergo mountains of paperwork, injections and surgery just for a sexual fetish or to sneak into women’s restrooms

…

Trust me, I do not think I’m a beautiful and unique snowflake. Much as I’m tempted to go around saying “we look like your average white-bread hetero couple, but don’t worry, I’m queer as all get-out!”, I know that it honestly won’t score me points either way. Playing by their rules only legitimizes their game.

(Source: denzel69k61242047)

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